This is a poem I wrote for Coach Stowe’s tenth grade English class at Dewey High School. The assignment was to write a one page essay over what you did for Christmas break. Where you went, what you did, what gifts you received. I found that way too boring and decided to take artistic liberties with the assignment…
How The Zombies Stole Christmas
By Jesse Monday
It was another normal Christmas Eve and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The children were sleeping, the zombies were creeping, and little Jonny was peeing in the snow. He was the first to go, and with blood in snow, more zombies began to show. My old friend Stowe turned the corner and yelled “Woah!” as the zombies devoured Joe. With fright and all his might he fought to get inside.
Nathan Locke was fixing a clock when Stowe came gasping indoors. Just then Cory Vaughter began to slaughter all the zombies he could find. He was doing just fine until he drank some wine and accidentally shot himself. Then along came Collin, the biggest tool I ever met, the zombies ate him, so no need to fret. I came home to find Nathan and Stowe trapped in the house with no where to go.
A safe place we knew of, not one of us could think, to escape the undead, their skin so did stink. There was Nathan with his rifle, and I with my knife. We had just settled in, praying for life. When out by the door there arose such a clatter. We sprang to our feet to see what was the matter.
“They found us!” Stowe cried as he shook with fear, “I knew they were close by! I knew they were near!”. I looked around quick and spotted a vent. “We can escape through there!” I said as I went. We crawled in quickly, all into the duct. As the zombies broke in, Nathan yelled “Man, what luck!”. We found a car with a tank full of gas, but most of our friends had breathed their last.
It was the day after Christmas and all through the town, all the people were infected, their skin green and brown. The survivors were hiding in the gym of the school. Being outside, you would meet a fate most cruel. The moral of this story is a simple one you know, never go outside and pee in the snow.
Also, I got an IPod.